It’s not hard, it’s not easy, but if you want to do this, you got to learn how to lead.
The good thing is it is simple.
You just need to know the next step.
It can be anything.
Not clever, not planned out perfectly, not even true, you can lie and then say you are kidding, but you need to know the next step, and take into account her reaction to each one.
So first you make the step, then look for reaction and calibrate, then make another step, look for reaction and calibrate, on and on.
It takes a bit of practice but is really easy, especially if the girl likes you, she will want you to lead her and will support you along the way.
– Awesome you say, I’m new around here, I’m looking for a good coffee place.
You might be inclined to switch your intent from you and her to the coffee place and how it interests you a lot. That’s safer. Don’t do it. If you feel like doing it, just relax and come back to your original intent.
– Ummm, i think there is one down the street.
– Cool, do you drink coffee? (not in order to say lets drink coffee sometime, but just to get to know her)
Now the most important thing here is that you learn to relax into these conversations. She doesn’t know you, and she doesn’t expect you to be super testosterone macho guy or a prince on a white horse. Anything will do as long as you are relaxed and you are leading one step at the time.
– Yeah, I do.
And here you can start being playful.
– I bet you like mochas with 3 syrups.
– No! I like cappuccinos. If she gives short answers in the beginning of the conversation, that’s okay.
Don’t get stuck in the conversation, this can lead you to you getting in your head.
You want to be in your body, we are not in a job interview.
So you can high five her, stop and then continue, just to see how she reacts. If she follows your lead, you are on a good track.
If everything is going well, and you will generally know this after a few minutes. She might ask you what do you like?
First question from her side. You might want to make it 50-50 conversation but you got to keep leading.
– What do you think?
– I don’t know.
– I like…
Whatever is genuine to you. Stay congruent to yourself.
If you don’t like coffee you just say I don’t like coffee I made that shit up, and you say what you do like. If you like whiskey whiskey it is.
Don’t expect her to respond to this, just keep going for as long as you want. It’s your life. You can make anything up, if you want to have fun. Say the first thing that pops into you mind.
However, If you have limited time, or she has to go in her direction or you just want to bounce, you go for what you wanted, the phone number.
Just have a reason for asking for it, it’s the next step.
Hey I want to meet you again, put your number in. She does, you text her coffee lover or whatever and then you hug her and leave.
From here it’s texting.